'Free' magazines not worth the price

October 23, 2006 —

I can't remember the last time I picked up an issue of Rolling Stone or Entertainment Weekly, and I don't think I've ever read Time.

So why do the kind folks at Best Buy insist that I walk out of their store with an armful of free magazines? The cliche saying, "Do you want fries with that?" has become "Do you want magazines with that?"

Please, just let me buy the special edition DVD of La Bamba without being pressured into signing up for eight free weeks of Nintendo Power. Because I know that secretly I'm going to have to pay for the remaining 44 weeks of that subscription with my own money. But I bet they won't tell me that while I'm digging out my Reward Zone card in the checkout line.

That's just how Best Buy rolls, I guess. When I bought my computer, I got a package deal that included a free trial of NetZero or some other worthless dial-up Internet that I didn't need.

The polite gentleman who was selling me the computer asked me which free trial CD I wanted, and I told him, in the nicest way possible, that I didn't want either.

His reply was that I had to pick one because it was part of the package deal that made my computer so cheap. If I didn't take NetZero home with me, I wouldn't get the special package deal price.

So I picked one, and he told me that if I really didn't want that Internet service, then I should just not use it, and that would be the end of that.

Several weeks later, I received a credit card statement that informed me that I was billed for NetZero Internet. Gee, that's funny. I was getting charged for dial-up Internet, and I don't even have a phone line. And that NetZero disc was still sitting on a shelf, unopened.

As a result, I was left calling NetZero to explain that I no longer wanted their services, while simultaneously convincing them to remove any previous charges from my credit card. It was a waste of my time and a hassle that could have been easily avoided if I hadn't been blatantly lied to when I was buying my computer.

And that is why I don't want your free magazines, Best Buy. Believe me, I was tempted the first time someone asked if I wanted free Entertainment Weekly. I used to have a subscription and enjoyed reading the magazine. Really, I wouldn't mind subscribing again. But I'll do it on my own time and not while I'm holding up the checkout line. Because, honestly, I don't trust you, Best Buy. Who knows what bogus charges will appear on my credit card statement next month, all because I just had to know why everyone is so mad at this Borat guy.

The Best Buy employees are just doing their jobs, I know. I'm not angry at them. I'm not really angry at all. Just a little annoyed. But not so annoyed that I won't shop at Best Buy anymore, because The Devil's Rejects is on sale for $6.99 this week. A deal like that just can't be passed up. And maybe while I'm there I can interest the cashier in eight issues of the Valley Vanguard - free of charge.